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Husband Wife Jokes

 

Advocate:Talak Karvane K Rs10,000 Lagenge.
Husband:Pagal Ho Kya?Pandit Ne Rs 101 Me Shadi Karvai Thi.
Advocat:Dekh Liya Na Saste Ka Natija

   
 
 

Pati patni mandir main!
Pati-tumne kya manga?
Patni-Ki aap aur main saat janam saath rahe.
Patni-Aur aapne.
Pati-Ye mera saatwa janam ho

   
 
 

1st Friend : My wife converted me toreligion.

2nd Friend : Really?

1st Friend : Yes. Until I married her I didnt believe in hell.

   
 
 

Wife:

India jao to saarhee bhejna,

Dubai jao to jewelry,

France jao to perfume!!


Husband ne jal ke kaha,

Or dozakh jaon to kia bhejon?


Wife:

APNI VIDEO


   
 
  Patni – Collage ke bare me tumhara koi bura anubhav hai? 
Pati – Han, Tumhari aur meri paheli mulakat college me he to hui thi.
   
 
 

Patni:- main tumse jo kuch bhi kahti hu tum ek kaan se sunkar doosre se nikaal dete ho. 
Pati:-aur main tumse kuch bhi kahta hu to tum dono kaan se sunkar muh se nikaal deti ho.

   
 
 

Husband to Wife : Mein shaadi se pehle 20 auraton ke saath so chuka hoon.

Wife : Mujhe pata tha ki jab kundli mili hai to aadatein bhi zarur milti hogi!!!

   
 
 

Pati:-main jeevan main aaj jo kuch bhi bana hoon,apne aap bana hoon. 
Patni:-lo, main aaj tak bekar hi bhagwaan ko kosti rahi.

   
 
 

Patni:-kyon jab main moti hojaaungi,tab bhi tum mujhe aise hi pyaar karoge? 
Pati:-bilkul nahin, maine sirf such dukh main saath dene ka vaada kiya tha.

   
 
 
pati: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan kahin chhupa kar rakh do, padosi aa rahe hain.
patni: Kyonji ! kya Aapke dost chura lenge? 
pati: are Nahin, who apna saaman pehchaan lenge.
   
 
 
patni: Aap bahut mote ho gaye ho. 
pati: Tum bhi to kitni moti ho gayi ho. 
patni: Main to maa banne wali hoon! 
pati: Main bhi to baap banne wala hoon
   
 
  Patni: “Aapne pichle saal salgireh pe mujhe lohay ka bed diya tha, Iss baar aapka kya iraada hai?” 
pati: “Iss saal uss mein current chorne ka iraada hai.”
   
 
  Patni: -suno ji,aapko mujhme kya achcha lagta hai. meri samajhdari ya meri beauty. 
pati: -mujhe to tumhari ye mazak karne ki aadat bahot pasand hai.
   
 
  Pati :- main tumhare saath kuch bhi share kar sakta hu. 
Patni:-chalo phir bank account se start karte hain.
   
 
  Pati:-mere mrne ke baad tumhe mere jaisa doosra aadmi nahin milega. 
Patni:- tumhe kisne keh diya, ki main doosra aadmi tumhare jaisa chahti hoon.
   
 
  Patni:- main tumhare bina mar jaaungi. 
Pati:-main bhi mar jaaunga. Itni khushi main bardasht nahin kar paaunga.
   
 
  Husband wife ki godi me leta hua tha, 
Wife – kesa lag raha he ji? 
Husband- jese visnu bhagwan shesnaag ki god me lete ho.
   
 
  kya larki thi... 
Shohar: Kal mere khuab main ek larki aai thi, 
Wah! kya larki thi. 

Bibi: Akeli he aai hogi? 

Shohar: Tumko kese pata: 

Bibi: Uska husband mere khuab main 
tha.
   
 
  Pyar b ajab shay he 

Maa se payar hota hai to Ebadat 
Baap se payar hota hai  to Muqadas 
Bhai se payar hota hai  to Aqidat 
Didi  se payar hota hai ho to Farz 

Wife  se payar  hota hai  to 
sab kehte hen k SALA BIWI ka GHULAM H     hain
   
 
  Santa: Kal Raat Nu Film Vich Ik Chudail Kade

Mere Agge Kade Mere Piche Ghummi Ja Rai Si,

Banta: Kehri Film Si…?

Santa: Mere Viah Di Movie.
   
 
  Wife: Main tumhari yaad mein 15 din mein hi aadhi ho gayi hun, mujhe lene kab aa rahe ho?

Husband: 15 din aur ruk jao...
   
 
  Santa to Jeeto: Kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul Gobar jaisa swad hai.
Jeeto, maatha peet te hue: Hey bhagwan! Na jane inhone kya-kya kha ke dekha hua hai.