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Jokes

  Ek conductor ki shadi ho rahi thi, jab Dulhn phero ke waqt uske pas akar baithi to vo bola thoda pas ho k baith, ek sawari or baith sakti hai.
   
 
  Bahut Kuch Ditta Eh Rabba Tu Mainu, Bass Ik Meharbani Hor Karde
Ja Tah Milaade Mainu Yaar Mere Naal, Nhi Tah Botal Whisky Di Mere Moohre Dharde
   
 
  Customer: Mujhe phone per dhamkiya mill rahi hai.
Police: Kaun hai woh jo aapko dhamkiya de raha hai?

Customer:
 Telephone wale bolte hai ke, “Bill nahi bharoge toh kaat denge.”
   
 
 

Ik Din Santa Mandir Gya, Lok Bhajan Ga Rhe C:
“Darshan De Gariban Nu, Darshan De Gariban Nu”…
Sante Di Nuh Da Na “Darshan Rani” Si, Santa Nu Gussa Aa Gya,
Te Oh Bhi Bhajan Gaaun Lagga, “Darshan Mere Munde Di Bahu,
Oh Ta Mere Munde Di Rhu , Baki Gal Nasiban Di, Evein Kiven Gariban Di”

   
 
  Ek Bache Di Nani Us Nu Sula Rahi C, Te Keh Rahi C Soja Degree Soja!
Tan Pdosan Ne Puchea Esnu Degree Kio Bula Rahi Hai
Tan Usne Keha,
Meri Kudi Chandigarh Degree Lain Gai C Aah Lai K Aa Gai…
   
 
  Santa & Banta Saffar Te Ja Rhe See, Raste Wichoh Raat Ho Gye
Te Oh Tent Lga Ke So Gye,
Raat Nu Banta Di Akh Khuli
Ohne Santa Nu Jaga Ke Kiha Asman Wal Dekh Ke Dass Tainu Ki Nazar Aa
Riha Hai Santa Boliya Bhut Sare Sittare
Banta Is To Ki Patta Lagda Hai
Santa: Assman Bhut Hi Khubsurat Hai Te Roshni B Hai
Banta: Oye Kanjra, Koi Sada Tent Putt Ke Lai Gya Hai
   
 
  Pappu Paperan Ch Fail Ho Gaya, Es Gall Te Baapu Ne Keha, Apne Padosh Aali Kudi Nu Dekh, Class Ch First Aayi Hai.
Oh Baapu Ohnu Hi Taan Dekhta Si, Taan Hi Taan Fail Ho Gaya…
   
 
  Ik Darzi Lokan De Kappde Lai Ke Faraar Ho Geya
Koi Kehenda Meri Pant,
Koi Kehenda Meri Shirt,
Sante Ne Ronde Hoye Keha Ke Oh Mera Napa Lai Geya…
   
 
  Tu sohni tera na sohni, par tu sohni ban ke na dikha saki, 
sohni ta kache ghadde te v tarr ke aa gi C, Te tu Three Wheeler te vi na aa saki!!! 
   
 
  Teacher: raju, tum kis liye college aate ho? , Student: vidya ke khaatir 
Teacher: toh ab so kyu rahe ho? , Student: aaj vidya nahi aayi hai sir
   
 
  Doctor: is dawaa ko ek hafte main poora karo aur baad main aake milo. 
Patient: teek hai doctor 
(ek hafte ke baad) 
Doctor: dawaa khatam huaa kya? 
Patient: nahi doctor. 
Doctor: kyu nahi? 
Patient: usme likhaa thaa ke, bottle ko hamesha bandh rakhe
   
 
 

Arz Karda Haan, Ohna Di Gali To Gujre
Taan Ohna Da Chobara Nazar Aaya,

Wah Ji Wah…

Ohda Baapu Bahar Aa Ke Boleya,
Hath Pair Tod Devanga, Je Fer Nazar Aaya…

   
 
 

Sante Ne Blade De Naal Apni Girlfriend Da Naa Apne Hath Te Likheya
5 Minute Baad Jor Jor Di Ron Lageya.

Banta: Oh Kahnu Ronda Oye?

Santa: Maitho Spelling Galat Ho Gayi Naa Di…

   
 
 

Santa is asked to translate a phrase in english:
“Dukh Hamesha Naal Rehnde Ne Per Khushi Aundi Jandi Rehendi Hai.”
Santa Translated it as: My wife is always with me but her sister comes and goes.

   
 
  Teacher: OXFORD matlab kya hai? 
Student: OX matlab bail, FORD matlab Gaadi. to OXFORD matlab bail gaadi
   
 
  Pati: mere marne ke baad, kyaa tum doosri shaadi karogi? 
Patni: nahi. main apni behan ki saath rahungi. aap? 
Pati: main bhi tumhaare behan ke saath rahunga
   
 
  Patient: Doctor, yeh mera pehla operation hai. thoda dhyaan se karna. 
Doctor: dara mat. yeh mera bhi pehla operation hai
   
 
  Beggar: 10 rupaiya dedo saab. girlfriend ko phone karni hai. 
Saab ka girlfriend: dekho, bhikaari bhi apni girlfriend ko kitna pyar karta hai. 
Beggar: nahi memsaab, use pyar karne ke baad hee main bhikaari ban gayaa
   
 
  Car chalaataa huaa Santa ko road mein "ACCIDENT ZONE" ka board dikhaa. isliye santa ne sochaa: 
"Yeh log accident zone mein kyu road banaate hai?"
   
 
  Boy: kal maine tumhaare ghar gaya tha. lagta hai hamaari shaadi nahi hogi. 
girl: kyu? pappa se mile the kya? 
Boy: nahi, tumhaare behan se milaa tha
   
 
  Santa: tumhaara beta bilkul tumhaara jaisa hi dikhtaa hai. 
Banta: dheere se bol... woh padosi ka beta hai