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Santa Banta Jokes

 

Santa(jailer) to Banta: Das Phansi to pehla, akhri tamna ki hai? 

Banta: Meri lattan utte te siir thale kar ke phansi la do. 

   
 
 

Ik Navi Jehi Bus Vich College Di Sari Kudiyan Chad Gayi,
Te Bus Full Ho Gayi…

Conductor: No More, No More Please.

Santa: Sala, Morniya, Morniya Chadha Layiyan Te Hun Sadi Vaari Kehenda No More, No More.

   
 
 

Wife Ne Kurti Kaddi,
Fer Madhosh Nazran Naal Sante Vall Dekhde Hoye
Apni Salwar Laahndi Hoyi Kehan Laggi,
“Pata Hai Na, Ajj Ki Karna Hai?”

Santa: Saali, Main Ajj Raat Nu Kapde Nahi Dhowanga…

   
 
 

Santa to Banta: Yaar Tera Kutta Taan Bande Jeha Lagda Hai, Ki Khawaunda Hai Ehnu?
Banta: Eh Mera Beta Hai, Kutta Nahi, CA Kar Reha Hai, Aur Exam Chal Rahe Ne, Es Karke Sakl Kutte Jehi Ho Gayi Hai…


   
 
  Santa Apne Kutte Nu Fadd Ke, Ohdi Poonch Vich Pipe Pa Reha Si.
Banta: Oye, Kutte Di Dum Kadi Sidhi Nahi Hundi.
Santa: Saale, Main Taan Pipe Nu Teda Kar Reha Haan.
   
 
 

Santa te banta jungle to ja rhe si, 
achanak ik sher samno aa gya, 
santa : chal isde naal ladde hai, 
banta : oye kuch taan laaz kar eh ik(1) te asi 2. 

   
 
 

Santa: dunali le ke darwaje te khadiya si, 
banta: tu ethe kyun khadiya hai, 
santa : sher da shikar karan jana hai, 
banta : te ja pher ? 
santa : kiven javan buhe mure kutta khadiya hai. 

   
 
 

Santa to Shopkeeper: Gora Karn Wali Creme Haigi, Tere Kol,
Shopkeeper: Haan Hai
Santa: Fer Saale Launda Kyun Ni, Teri Sakal Dekh Ke Main Roz Dar Janda Haan.

   
 
 
Santa: Oh Yaar Tu Ki Boli Janda Ae Mainu Nai Sunai Dinda?
Thodi Uchi Aawaz Ch Bol Taan Sunu…
Banta: Main Taan Bas Chewing Gum Chab Reha Haan… Tainu Ki Keha?
   
 
 
Santa 2 Banta - Oye Ek Baat Bata, Ladki Aur Bijli Ki Taar Me Kya Farak Hai? Banta: Jada Farak Nahi Hai, Dono Nangi Ho To Jaan Nikal Deti Hain.
   
 
 
Golden Words By Hitler:
If you can not fly, run.
If you can not run, Walk.
If you can not walk, crawl.
but keep moving…

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……
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Santa:
Oye Eh Ta Theek Aa, Per Jana Kithe Hai?
   
 
 

Teacher: ” Main Teri Jaan Kadh Davaangi”, Da Future Tense Ki Hovega?
Santa: Saali, Tu Hath Laake Taan Dekh.

   
 
 

Girl To Teacher: Sir, Class De Sare Munde Mainu Bhua-Bhua Kehnde Ne.
Teacher: Kon Kon Ehnu Bhua Kehnda Hai, Hath Khada Karo?
Sante To Bina Sab Ne Hath Khada Kar Lita,
Teacher: Sante, Tu Ehnu Bhua Nahi Kehda?
Santa: Sir, Mein Te Ehna Sab Da Fuffarh Haan.

   
 
 

santa apne father k samne cigrate pi raha tha 

Logon ne kaha ke aap apne father ke samne cigratte pi rahay ho? 

Santa bola : Wo mera father hai, koi petrol pump thodi.

   
 
  Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye
   
 
  A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.
   
 
  Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka bada afsos hua, vaise hua kya tha?
Sant: Goli lagi thi mathe main.
Banta: Bhagwan ka shukar kar ke aankh bach gayi.
   
   
  Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha.
Driver ne sheesha set kiya.
Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith, car mein chalaoonga!
   
   
  Sadhu: Bachcha teri biwi ko chuddail chipak gayee hai. Upaaye karvaao.
Banta: Upayaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein harz hi kya hai?
   
   
  Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI
   
   
 

Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, ye Ayodhya kaise chala gaya?