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Short Funny Jokes

 

Santa class me haans raha tha,
Ek ladka bola : Stand UP, kaun ho tum?
Santa : Tum kaun ho?
Ladka : Mein monitor hu
Santa : Te phir mein CPU hu!!!

   
 
 

Santa (Ladki ko chedte hue): Hor soniya ki haal he…??
Ladki (gusse me) boli: Jo teri behn ka hai.
Santa (hans kar): Woh to pregnant hai!!!

   
 
 

Santa:- Abe Banta tu yaha baitha hai…
Tere dost ki death ho gai hai… Tu gaya Kyu Nahi????
Banta:- Uss saale ne mujhe bulaya hi nahi 

   
 
 

A policeman to his son : Tumhara result aacha nahi aaya.
Aaj se tumhara khelna aur TV dekhna band.

Beta : Ye 50 rupay pakdo aur ess baat ko yaheen dabado


   
 
 

Jo dete hai ladki ko tohfe,
Wo late hai unki shaadi me sofe,

Jo jate hai unke piche,
Wo aate hai caro ke neeche,

Jo kehte hai JAANU,
Wahi bante hai baacho ke MAMU!!!

   
 
 

Nurse : Mubarak ho aap ke ghar ladka paida hua hai.
Santa : Wah g wah kya technology hai, Biwi meri hospital hai,
aur bacha mere ghar paida hua hai!!!

   
 
 

Santa ko uska sasur jute maar raha tha
Aadmi : Kyu maar rahe ho?
Sasur : Meinie ise Hospital se SMS kiya.
Tum baap ban gaye ho. Isne apne sare friends ko forward kar diya!

   
 
 

Makan Malik : Rs 700 kiraya hoga.
Kirayedar : Thik hai. Lekin aapke makan me chuhey nach rahe hai.
Malik : To saale 700 me kya Sheela nachegi?

   
 
 

THIS IS A CLASSIC ::

Santa ne facebook pe apna account banaya
aur apni WALL pe likha :

“Yaha thukna mana hai” 

   
 
 

Ek khargosh roj lohaar ki dukan pe jata aur kehta : GAAJAR hai?
Lohar inkar kar deta.

Ek din Lohaar ko gussa aaya aur usne Khargosh ke daant tod diye.

fir..

fir kya…

Agle din Khargosh aaya aur bola…

GAAJAR KA JUICE HAI KYA???

   
 
 

12 Boys planed to propose a girl

10 came with a rose..
But 1 came with a ring – Thats confidence

But what about the other 1?
Wo sala baraat lekar aaya – OVER CONFIDENCE!

   
 
 

Santa – Yaar Banta tune poore toilet me potty kyu kar di?
Banta – Yaar ye mobile bhi na!
Santa – Kya hua?
Banta – Tune “IDEA” ka ad nahi dekha
“WALK when u TALK”

   
 
 

Santa : Mom kya aapne mujhe paida hone se pehle dekha tha?
Mom : Nahi to beta!
Santa : To phir paida hone ke baad aapne mujhe pehchana kaise??

   
 
 

Santa ko rota dekhkar Banta ne pucha kya hua?
Santa : Meine 2 ton ka AC kharida,
ghar aakar tola to sir 35 kilo ka nikla!

   
 
  Santa mango juice ka glaas le kar baitha tha
Banta aaya aur fataak se juice pee gaya.
Santa – Meri to yaar kismat hi kharab hai. Beta fail ho gaya,
biwi dost ke saath bhag gayi, ghar me chori ho gayi, nalke me
paani nahi, ghar me light nahi.
Aab juice me zehar daal ke peene ko rakha tha
aur wo bhi tu pee gaya saale!
   
 
 

Jatt : Mujhe mobile me MP3 songs dalwane hai.
Mobile Shop Wala : Memory card hai kya?
Jatt : Nahi memory card nahi hai, RASAN CARD chalega?

   
 
 

Do judwa baache kamare me baithe the
Ek haans ke lot pot ho raha tha aur dusra udaas tha
Dad : Tum itna kyun haans rahe ho
Son : Mummy ne itni thand me dono baar isi ko nehla diya!

   
 
  Sasur ne Daamaad se kaha : 6 saale me 8 baache.Ye kya hai?
Daamaad : Maine aapse kaha tha Gareeb jarur hu par aapki beti ko kabhi khali pet nahi rakhunga!
   
 
 

Bush: Tujhe swimming aati hai?
Laaloo: No!

Bush:Tere se kutta acha hai jo swim kar leta hai.
Laaloo: Tujhe aati hai?

Bush:Haan!
Laaloo: Fir tere mein aur kutte mein kya farak hai…

   
 
 

What is ABCDEFG?

A Boy Can Do Everything For a Girl!

But what is GFEDCBA? (The Opposite)

Girl Forgets Everything Done and Catches new Boy Again!